I still feel your loss

Each day, I get up, get ready for work…do my “normal” routine. Except, there’s a big difference. You are always the first thing on my mind and the last thing I think about every night. You are in my thoughts every second of every hour of every day. It’s been 5 months. Does that mean this grief is supposed to start hurting less? Because it doesn’t. Each day that goes by, is a day that I miss you more. I miss your laugh, your smile, your hugs, your texts…I miss YOU. I miss you with every ounce of me. Each day is just a day further away from the last time I hugged you, I heard you, and I saw you. Each day is another day that I hold on to memories, listen to old audios or watch old videos of you. Each day is another day that I find ways to share your story, your life and your heart. Each day I feel like more and more of my heart is crumbling away, it gets harder to breathe, and each day I still wait for you to walk out of your room. I will never stop missing you. I will never stop loving you. And I will never stop sharing your story. I will love you, miss you and long for you until the day I take my last breath. Because on that day, we will be together again. Until then, I will continue to get up each day and give this world everything I have to make you proud. You will live through me and I will live for you. I love you Cole. I will love and miss you for the rest of my life.

Love mom